Learn to get The best spouse that actually advice from The hadist:
Prophet Muhammad (Blessed upon for him) commented:
‘Women are married because of four reasons: Wealth, Family Rank, Beauty and Piety. You should marry a pious lady and achieve success.’ (Bukhéri, Muslim)
Let us briefly study each reason.
Beauty ~ Our elders have related a very wise criteria, ‘Your partner should be pleasing and not displeasing to view.’ Beauty whilst being a blessing, desirable and heart pleasing nevertheless is not everlasting.
Heaven forbid, an accident or illness could soon end it. Moreover, beauty is a guest of short duration; natural aging and childbirth takes its toil…the attractiveness of youth soon begins to disappear: ‘Those long, glistening hair which seem ever so enchanting today, will appear more revolting than a donkey’s tail when she becomes old.’
Another point to bear in mind is that whilst you have chosen this person only because of her/his attractiveness…do remember, they too will have ‘airs’ on account of their beauty, therefore ponder, will you be able to tolerate and fulhl her tantrums?
Also, she too will be desiring an equally beautiful person as her match…do you possess such qualities, otherwise, although in nikah you will be desirous of her and willing to sacrifice your all…she will consider you as her inferior and incline elsewhere.
What pleasure may there be in such a relationship? In addition, others too, like you, will have their eyes and heart upon this beautiful person, events should not take such a turn whereby, although she is in your nikah, her other admirers will be desiring and scheming your ‘removal’ from the scene.
This is why it is never wise to forgo piety and marry someone merely because of his or her beauty. However, should beauty be present with piety then Nuruun alla Nur.
In this case, one should not be suspicious of this pious beautiful lady, whom Allah as has blessed you as a nemat (bounty).
Wealth intoxicates the mind of some people and determines their reason for choosing a marriage partner. But remember, wealth is even more fickle than beauty: ‘Wealthy at night, pauper by morning.’
You should also reflect that although the girls family maybe rich, when she arrives into your nikah, generally, she will not be bringing any wealth with her and should she receive this wealth, why, does your manhood and sense of honour accept ‘sponging’ off your wife’s wealth?
In addition, even if she is from a wealthy background…her tastes, desires and requirements too will be expensive. Do you possess the means and ability to fulfil these? ‘An elephant requires a massive diet’…do you think a wealthy girl will be satisfied with your comparatively small income?
You will be constrained to daily plead with such a person (or nowadays, allow her to go out to work to finance her tastes)…the sum result of which will be you having to live ‘under her thumb.’ The wise have said: ‘Ideally, in wealth, the bride should be from a less wealthy background, so that she remains grateful and contented.’
Some people search for a person
from a socially higher class considering this will give them greater fame, respect and superiority over others. Like previous two reasons, this too is not a sensible basis for choosing a marriage partner.
Piety according to the Sharee‘ah determines a persons rank and worth. Beauty, wealth and family background are all fickle and flimsy…especially as far as girls are concemed…for their most precious commodity is honour and chastity. ‘Ali 4. narrates, ‘We were present with Rasoolullah a when He asked us: ‘Inform me, what is best for ladies?’ All the Sahébih 3. present maintained silence. ‘Ali to relates ‘I returned and asked Fatimah so, ‘What is best for ladies?’ She replied ‘She should not look at any non -mahram male nor should any male look at her.’ “Ali 4,. related this reply to Rasoolullah 29 who commented: ‘F’atimah is a portion of my heart (therefore, she understood).” This is why both parents and the person marrying should very carefully consider their prospective partners‘:
1) Aqaaid (beliefs) ~ Remember, many a western educated person suffers from queer beliefs regarding the Akhirah. Find out their exact views.
2) Ibaadah (worship) ~ Is the person punctual in Saléh, Saum, Zakat, etc? These are not insignificant acts.
3) Akhlaq (good character) ~ Ask sensible people about the person’s habits, traits, manner of speaking, etc.
4) Muimalit (transactions) ~ Try to ascertain the person’s financial dealings, honesty and integrity.
5) Muasharat (social intercourse) ~ Does the person know how to conduct themselves in society and within the family circle?
6) Health ~ This too is important; do they suffer from any illnesses?
7) Relationship ~ Generally, though not always, there is greater compatibility between people of the same family and ethnicity.
8) Education ~ Both should have received a sensible level of Deeni Tileem and basic education and not be a complete ignoramus.
9) Temperament ~ Ideally both the boy and girl should enjoy the same outlook…otherwise if one is quite positive, enthusiastic, lively and an extrovert whilst the other be subdued and a simpleton…then obviously life could be problematic.
10) Housekeeping Skills & Profession ~ It is important the girl be competent in all aspects of domestic duties whilst the boy be one who behaves like our Nabee $…always willing to lend a hand in household chores.
The boy should also possess some trade, profession or skill (either Deeni or worldly) so he may maintain his wife and family and not be dependent on others.
11) Modern day habits ~ Nowadays, it is also necessary to find out whether the boy or girl suffers from a drug or alcohol problem or is addicted to the TV.
Ashraf’s Blessings of Marriage